Call It What It Is, and Give Me What I Want

This afternoon I met a friend for coffee at Starbucks.

When I go out with someone, I order a coffee to have something to sip as we chat. I like coffee, but not in large quantities, so I definitely don't need the "Grande" or "Venti" size. But I really don't even need a "Tall." It's too much for me; I almost always leave a portion unconsumed.

It irks me that their so-called "small" is so big. It's so big that they must have realized that they can't in good conscience call it "Small." It's far too big to be described as small, so they accurately and appropriately call it "Tall." Other than rhyming, however, the Tall doesn't have much in common with the word small. Nevertheless it's the smallest option on the board. When I ask for a small, they give me a "Tall." I've always hated that.

So what a surprise when I heard my friend order a "Short."

"What did you just order?" I asked.

"They have a size that's not listed on the board. A smaller size called a 'Short'."

"What?" I exclaimed, appalled. Maybe you already heard about this, but it was news to me.

"Yep."

The barista didn't miss a beat when she ordered it. She went to work making a truly small coffee and handed it to my friend. She set it on the counter next to mine. There it was, a perfectly sized cup of coffee. It's just what I've always wanted: less coffee at a lower price.

I had already irkedly ordered the smallest one I knew about, the "Tall." Too late to change my order that time...

...but just you wait, Starbucks.

It really aggravates me to know that they've offered this but hid it from me. I've actually asked for a "small," but they never said, "Oh, we have a 'Short' that we don't have room for on the board." Nope. I asked for a "small" and they simply handed me a "Tall."

But they knew. They knew that they had the truly small option to serve me. I mean, my friend asked for a "Short" and they just popped out the little cup from its hiding place and made it; no hesitation, no questions asked.

They've always known, but never told me. And because I've actually requested the smallest size but never received a "Short," it feels like they're coming very close to lying. I've read that their defense is that they don't have room for it on the board. But it's strange that they don't have room for it on their website, either. I used their "search" option, but they came back with: "We're sorry, but we were unable to locate the information or item you are searching for." They don't list it or any of their sizes.

At least, they don't list it on the North America version of their site. I did find it on an English "Latte Lingo" page on their Japan site. Why do the Japanese get the truth? Why are they given all the options up front?

Why are they hiding this from us?

Here's one take on the situation from Tim Harford in Slate.

Here's another article by the same writer in BBC News in which he calls it "product sabotage" and explains how other companies are pulling off this kind of stunt.

After reading this, I'm going to start asking for smaller portions of everything, everywhere I eat. While I'm at it, I'm going to ask for discounts everywhere I eat or shop. I'm going to pull out my AAA card and flash it around, in case it's worth a few bucks in savings. I'm going to explore all of my options.

And I will only order "Tall" if I truly want 12 ounces of coffee.

Otherwise, I'll take a "Short," thank you very much.