The Pull of the Arches

Today we're letting our preschool birthday boy select a place to eat out. "Any place I want?" he asked.

"Any place you want," I assured him.

"Hmmmm....what's that place with the white things that stick out on the roof?"

I wracked my brain trying to picture a restaurant with white things on the roof. Finally I resorted to simply listing all of the nearby restaurants. "Chili's?"

"No."

"Applebees?"

"No."

"Steak-and-Shake?"

"No."

On and on we went like that through Wendy's, Burger King, Don Pablo's, Panera Bread ("Silly! That's a lunch place!"), Old Country Buffet. Finally I tossed it out, the dreaded Mickey-Ds.

"McDonald's?"

"Yes! Yes! That's it! I want to go to McDonald's!"

"Really?"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Well, um...." Some of you may recall that I'm not fond of McDonald's. After reading Eric Schlosser's amazing book Fast Food Nation about three years ago, I resolved never to eat there again. Evidently I've done a very good job of avoiding it. This is, after all, his fifth birthday!

"What kind of food do they serve there?"

Ah, that felt good. To know that for five years he's been clueless about the place felt like we were succeeding against all their ploys to suck in a kid. But, of course, they're scoring one on his birthday. I impulsively promised he could go anywhere he wanted. With a sigh, I explained, "They have hamburgers and french fries, just like all the fast food places."

"Oh! Okay, then, I'll have chicken nuggets and french fries, and if they have a small cheeseburger, maybe I'll have that, too."

Man, I sure do wish we'd put some conditions on the birthday outing.

I'm not sure how we managed to pass that place ten thousand times without his realizing exactly what it was all about, but all that's about to end. It's hard to fight against a rainbow colored indoor play place, a grinning clown, and food that comes with a toy. Put it that way and it sounds like the perfect birthday destination--I can't say that I blame him for wanting to check it out.

Of course that's all part of McDonald's plan. Smart place. But they've only got us once a year, at best. And next year, I'll be a little more savvy. From now on, birthday dinners will come with one restriction: no golden arches.