My Philosity

As we sat around the table a few nights ago, someone in the family brought up the idea of having a philosophy of life.

Our preschooler, age four, announced, "I have a philosity."

"Really?" I asked. "What is it?"

"Wellll, my philosity is that if you say something, I'll say, 'What?!'" He punched the word vocally, clipping it with a hint of annoyance. Oh, and he wrinkled his nose and scrunched up his eyebrows, but only on that word. After, he was back to normal. "Try it," he insisted self-assuredly. "Say something."

"Okay," I began, "um, would you like more french fries with your chicken?"

"What?! See, that's my philosity."

I try to imagine how that will fly a few years from now in the workforce. If he's an assistant, let's say, and he's dropped the ball on a merger: "Kroeker, I told you to contact Henderson in accounting two days ago!"

"What?!"

Not so good.

Or if he's the supervisor, and someone comes to him with a problem, asking, "Mr. Kroeker, I have to miss work because my mom is being moved from a nursing home into a hospice."

"What?!"

It's a problematic philosity, lacking in humility or respect, not to mention old-school supervisory in tone; not much room for understanding or tolerance.

On the other hand, it's uncomplicated and concise, and heaven only knows the world could use more simplicity and brevity. Actually I myself should learn from that aspect of his philosity. What's more, it's confident. Sometimes I wish I were that bold.

"Look, there's a police officer following us with his lights on."

"Mom, I accidentally flushed your cell phone down the toilet."

"You'd better scoot down the pew--I think I'm going to throw up."

What?!

Hm, maybe there really are times in our lives when we should adopt my son's philosity?