This week was full of contradictions and inner conflict.

Last Saturday my husband and I sat with some of his old college friends, one of whom seems to be quite a bit wealthier than we are. Reflecting on their advantages, we realized how hard it is to resist wanting some of those luxuries.

The next day, Sunday, was the day I unearthed and spontaneously read that little book 'Tis a Gift to Be Simple. This book explained the path to a simpler life, to which I am consistently drawn. But the timing left me tense--on the one hand I was scheming of ways I might bring in some extra cash for a few luxuries. Then I was beating that down with the little green Simple book, reminding myself that this was how I really want to live.

Then there was the weather. The past three days, the temperatures were in the 50s. In fact yesterday got up to 60 degress Farenheit according to our van's display. I hired a babysitter and went jogging in the morning and later took the kids to a park where they played without coats, though afternoon wind gusts sculpted their hair into nest-like masses. Those winds brought cold temperatures. Today it's in the 20s.

It's hard enough to try to settle my internal conflicts; I find it ever so much harder to live when the weather is in such flux as well. But the whole world is in chaos, it seems, with wars and rumors of wars, economies flourishing and fading, governments changing and offering hope with recent elections and others disintegrating from ongoing corruption.

Change is inevitable and necessary for things to get better. But change brings contradictions resulting in conflict and tension, whether is it a person's personal value system, a government's rule, or the weather. I guess a lot of people love living in that state of ambiguity, staring straight into the unknown and marching forward boldly.

Parenthood requires that attitude to a degree. With several children nearing puberty, we are living in a state of change and contradiction. I have no choice but to stare into the future, the unknown, and keep walking. I don't know how boldly I can do so, but have no choice but to move ahead. Right now it's orthodontia, and within a few short years, driving school. Talk about contradiction: Because of the spread of our children's ages, I think we'll have one child entering first grade while another gets her driving permit.

Maybe this is a good year to take them all to Disneyworld? Before it's too late? Of course if we do that, so much for simplicity.