Two stories:

My preschooler was helping with something and took an extra step to be neat. I said, "You're a very thorough boy." He stopped dead in his tracks, spun around looking rather offended, and exclaimed, "I'm not a throw-up boy!"

"I didn't say 'throw-up,' I said 'thorough.' It means you're doing a very good job."

He grunted, shook his head, repeated, "Well, I'm not a throw-up boy," and went inside, shutting the screen door carefully behind him.

Next story, my husband had been traveling a few days and phoned me from the airport on his way home. "I'm in Detroit."

"Great! Glad you're safe. Just one more leg of the trip to go."

"Yep. So, you're planning to record the two-hour special for me, right?"

"Yes."

"It starts in about fifteen minutes, so go ahead and start it."

"Oh, no need. I'll start it at nine."

"It's only fifteen minutes. Go ahead, that way we won't miss any of it."

"It's okay. I'll start it at nine."

"Okay."

He had to board, so I hung up the phone with about ten minutes to spare. I was reading a book, so I glanced up at the clock. Looked back down at the book, got into the story, and didn't look up again until I finished it. I closed the book with that satisfied feeling. It lasted exactly one-and-a-half seconds, because with that satisfied grin on my face, I looked up at the clock.

It was ten o'clock.

I'd missed one full hour of the two-hour special he was dying for me to tape.

I gasped, almost choking, rushed to the VCR and turned it on. When he landed, I begged him not to be mad. "I won't be mad. What happened?"

"Well, you know how stressful it always is when you travel."

"Yes..."

"And I have been really absent minded, you know. I mean, I'm forgetting a lot lately."

"Yes...."

"Well, I, um, I missed the first hour of the show."

"What?"

"I know! I know, I just, I missed it. I got the second hour, though. I think we can figure it out."

"You missed it?"

"You said you wouldn't be mad!"

"I know, but you missed an hour of it?"

"I know, you're right. I should have started it fifteen minutes before. I'm sorry, I'm soooo sorry."

We're okay now. I thought it was the season finale, but the finale is this week. I think that helped.

I'm too embarrassed, however, to admit that I was reading a book. More so, in fact, because it was a children's book. Yep, I missed half the show because I was totally into a children's book.