We've invested a little bit of money and time into fixing up the house. We've torn down wallpaper and painted, we've picked up a piece of used furniture here and there and found some nice slipcovers and so on. In other words, I'm willing to concede that we haven't spent enormous sums of money, but we are happy with the way things look. The kitchen is a light blue with yellow and green accents here and there. It's kind of a cottage look, relaxed, airy.

Hence, here is the mother's dilemma: one of my kids has discovered some projects called "Mutant Freaks." These are kits consisting of a hideous creature with parts that can be attached with modeling clay per the creative choice of the kid-designer. My daughter has three and wants them on display in, of all places, the kitchen, the bright and airy blue kitchen, next to the cute blue candlesticks and spray of flowers in the white vase.

The Mutant Freaks have distorted eyeballs and globs of blood, horns, tongues, broken teeth, warts, you name it: if it's disgusting, there's probably a part that can be attached. She's delighted. She's proud.

They are on the countertop, front and center.

Sigh.